The Desire Before the Answer

What if some of God's greatest answers to prayer begin long before we ever pray?

We tend to think of prayer as bringing our desires to God and waiting to see whether he says yes, no, or not yet. But what if the deepest desires of our hearts didn't begin with us at all? What if they began in his heart first?

Years ago, after a painful season of divorce, loss, and uncertainty, God gave me an unexpected vision. I saw myself holding hands with two children: a tall blond boy and a smaller girl. Not long afterward, someone else heard the Lord instruct him to tell me that I would have two children.

At the time, there was no husband. No pregnancy. No reason to believe it would ever happen.

Over the next several years, I experienced two miscarriages, three breakups with the man who eventually became my husband, and countless moments when the promise seemed impossible. Yet through it all, that vision never faded. The desire remained, anchoring my hope-filled prayers when circumstances gave me every reason to doubt.

Nearly ten years later, I held my son. Then my daughter. God wasn't simply answering my desire. He had planted it there in the first place.

For years I misunderstood one of the most beloved promises in Scripture:

"Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart." (Psalm 37:4)

Like many Charismatic Christians, I was taught that this scripture meant that if I delighted myself in God long enough, God would, along the way, give me what I desired, as long as it was a good one. Other Christians I knew treated the verse as though a vending-machine-god existed to fulfill our dreams, much like hoping that karma, fate, or "the universe" will eventually cooperate with our plans.

Now I am convinced we read this scripture backwards.

What if the promise isn't primarily that God grants our desires, but that as we delight ourselves in him, he graciously reshapes our hearts until they begin to desire what he desires?

Jesus said the greatest commandment is to love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength. He also told us not to chase after the things the world pursues, but to seek first his kingdom and his righteousness. The invitation has never been to use God to obtain or manifest the life we want. The invitation has always been to know him.

Something remarkable happens as we delight in him; we begin to know him intimately. As we know him, we begin to love what he loves. Slowly, almost imperceptibly, our hearts are transformed.

The imagery behind Psalm 37:4 is beautiful. God doesn't simply hand us what we've always wanted. He shoots an arrow into our hearts, planting desires that were never there before. Those desires grow until one day we find ourselves bringing to our Father the very desire he placed within us.

No wonder he delights to answer those prayers! They began in his heart before they ever reached ours.

That doesn't mean every desire we experience comes from God. We all know what it feels like to crave comfort, recognition, control, or success. But the longer we remain with Christ, the more he gently sifts our hearts, removes these idols, and shapes us into Christ's image. Some desires he removes because they would ultimately harm us. Others he redirects toward something better. And, quite often, he plants entirely new desires that could never have originated with us because they are impossible for us to do on our own.

Looking back now, I can see those arrows scattered throughout my life:

- The longing to know God more deeply.

- The burden to help others recognize his voice.

- The desire to write Revelationship.

- The vision of two children.

At the time, they felt like my dreams. Now I can see they were his invitations to live an extraordinary life.

Some of God's greatest gifts aren't simply the answers to our prayers. They are the holy longings he plants within us long before we understand where they will lead.

Looking at David's own life, I think that's what Psalm 37:4 has been saying all along.